how to be one of a kind

Do you feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices every day? We are bombarded by adverts, social media and an abundance of TV shows, all suggesting we buy this or try that. It can become really challenging to find our true identities in all this noise. This overwhelm can influence our style too – how many times have you worn something just because a friend or model in a magazine is wearing it but then feel unhappy with how it looked on you compared to them? The more we listen to our inner voices and passions, the more we can build a unique and authentic style, so that we can live our best lives and find our tribe.

Kelly Michele

With the start of a new year, let’s reset all the thoughts accumulated from other people or brands and begin to realise our individual worth. Here are five ways to strengthen self-confidence and celebrate the unique power of being one of a kind:

1. Consider the things you’re truly passionate about. What and who in life fills your heart with passion and joy?  This could be things in nature, art, entertainment, places, types of people (or other creatures), a calling in life that you’re either already working on or aspire to do. Are you already able to interact with these passions and, if not, what’s standing in the way? Maybe you want to take up a dance class but don’t know whether you’ll like it – why not try it once and see how you find it? There’s no obligation to go again if it's not for you. Maybe you long for a new career or gender identity but your friends don’t understand – when you commit to making the change, you’ll find a new set of friends who are better aligned to your way of thinking which will lift you up, rather than restrict your freedom. An inspiring example is people who yearn to be drag queens but who live in countries where such freedom isn’t allowed – the bravest ones move country so that they can make their dreams reality instead of struggling to hide who they truly are. 

Photo - from drag queen Priyanka's Twitter @thequeenpri

​2. Ditch the rules. Ever heard ‘blue and green shouldn’t be seen’ and so never wear blue and green together? Or think you should only wear one style of clothing? Naaaahhhhh! If you have many interests and enjoy many different styles then have fun experimenting with them. Wear a different style each week / month or start combining them to be a trend-setter.  

Photo - Sweeney Todd from Pinterest

​3. Every day is a new opportunity. This quote from Meister Eckhart, a German mystic and philosopher, sums it up – “and suddenly you know, it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings”. Just because life was a certain way yesterday, doesn’t mean it has to be the same tomorrow. It’s only too late to start something new when we are no longer living in our current existence, so every day is a new opportunity to dabble with the unique things that light your soul on fire.  

Photo - from Pinterest

​4. Have conviction. Drag mama RuPaul regularly says to the queens on Drag Race, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” If you’re going to be brave enough to be unique, it’s essential to have conviction in what you’re wearing. Want to dress like Helena Bonham Carter in Sweeney Todd while getting milk from the local shop? At first, you might feel self-conscious and think everyone is judging you but they are most likely either wrapped up in their own concerns or will be inspired by you to blow the cobwebs off their silver, sequined 1970s platforms with red stars on them. Consider celebs who exude confidence; it’s not their looks that win people over, because beauty is subjective, but their conviction in what they wear, for example Lady Gaga’s meat dress. If she looked self-conscious while wearing it then it wouldn’t have had the same effect or charm. I’ve mentioned RuPaul’s Drag Race a couple of times in this post, it’s because the courage and conviction of the queens to express their unique nature has a knock-on effect of inspiring others to do the same and creates a katamari (for the gamers among you) of unique identity, joy and self-expression.  

Photo - Lady Gaga in Cosmopolitan

​5. Use the magic of style to be unique. What makes you visually one of a kind? It’s your unique combination of body shape, colouring, proportions, hair and features. Then add your individual personality for a truly unique style. Maybe you don’t like your copper hair – there are loads of colours which look divine paired with copper hair. Maybe you don’t like having a longer torso and shorter legs – you can easily create a new illusion with clothes. Maybe you don’t like your body shape – you can, once again, create a new illusion with clothes and, as you grow in confidence, you might even be happy to make it into a feature. While it’s always wonderful to grow in confidence, this takes time, whereas updating your style can be an instant way to express your unique identity and build self-esteem. Whether you just want some focused style inspiration or need a full style transformation, there’s something here for you. Want to align your personality and lifestyle with unique style?

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Photo - an example of the Style Inspiration Moodboard personal styling service.